Transparency

Before I can post anything else, I feel the need to be completely transparent with myself and whoever might be reading this. I have made no progress in trying to get back in shape. I have gone running once in the past month. My weight continues to fluctuate and I continue to hate shopping for clothes because I am so frustrated with how my body looks now. I have only myself to blame to because I just simply have not put in the effort and I have no excuse. I am such a planner and have great plans but my problem is following through. All I can do is take it one day at a time and blah blah blah…. doesn’t mean anything if I’m not doing a thing about it!

OK. That’s enough ranting. I continue to love my food and drink and that is just a fact of my life. I am on the journey to find a balance because soon I will be starting grad school classes again and I really have to have my routine down by then. Thanks for reading. I feel better already.

The following is my post that never got posted to due technical difficulties on Tuesday:

Oh blog.. I have missed you and am so sorry I have neglected you for this long. Blog friends, I have missed you, too!

First things first, I have to provide an update on the weight-loss thing. I succeeded in losing two pounds last week and noticed a visible difference in my abdomen area looking flatter. Then…. Friday happened. Friday, our team at work had a team lunch and we ordered in pizza. It would have been OK if I just stuck to one slice of cheese pizza but I had two… and a garlic knot…and a small cup of Pepsi… and a sugar cookie. Ugh! I was keeping track of what I ate on my calorie counter website and realized that if I was going to eat anything for dinner, I would have to go for a run right after work.

So that is precisely what I did. As soon as I got home, I changed my clothes and laced up my sneakers and went out for a nice run for about 30 minutes. When I came back, my boyfriend and I decided to go out for some appetizers and drinks. I thought that was perfect because with appetizers I could really control my portions. Well, my boyfriend decided to completly wine and dine me! Like the title of my blog indicates, one of the ways I receive love from others is through food and so he was showing me some major love! We had oysters, salads, entrees, drinks, bread, and ended the meal with Bailey’s. It was sooooo good! While I made good choices as far as what I ate such as spinach salad and grilled trout for the entree, when I tallied up the calories… welp, let’s just say I was 800 over my goal for the day and that is including the calories I burned from running.Yikes!

I ended gaining 4 pounds from that meal. (Sad face) I spent the whole rest of the weekend and up to today trying to lose that wieght again. I feel like I have made no progress at all and quite frankly this has been the cycle every week for months! The madness has got to stop! I have to have a plan for the weekend ready to go. Not sure what the exact plan is going to be at this point but I am working on it. Maybe having friends for drinks and a low cal vegan meal? Do some pumpkin carving and have some healthy snacks?

Going on a run tonight and hoping to blast mucho calories. Wish me luck!

Deviant behavior and chipotle ice cubes

 

I confess, my progress in weight loss was quickly stunted by my indulgance in some delicious enchiladas espinacas (spinach enchiladas) from our favorite Mexican place here in Tucson, Guadalajara Grill, last night. They came drowning in cream sauce and monterey jack cheese. Needless to say I feel heavy today and a little guilty. Well at least I didn’t order the house margarita like I usually do! Baby steps.

Usually when I over indulge, I do not wake up very easily the next day and today was no different. Instead of starting the day with a nice cup of hot lemon water and fruit to start the detox process, I had some Greek yogurt (pumpkin flavor) and two Trader Joes Joe-Joe cookies (the Jackolantern-faced ones) for breakfast with my coffee. I think my stomach is mad at me now because I hear it yelling at me. I’ll make it up to you, Stomach, I promise!

So my plan for the rest of the day is to show my stomach and body some love and enjoy some tasty fruits, veggies, and brown rice. I have to go out for lunch because I didn’t prepare my lunch since I woke up late. Maybe hit up Whole Foods? For dinner, it is going to be brown rice, steamed veggies, and kale salad. I am going to try to get in for some yoga tonight at 8:00 pm but we’ll see – I’m dragging today big time.

Last night, after I woke up from my food coma, I cleaned out my fridge to be able to fill it with wholesome lovely foods when I found an opened can of chipotle in adobo sauce in the back of my fridge. Oops! I use it for a chili two weeks ago and completely forgot to properly store it in another container. Then in my cheese-induced funk, it dawned on me to freeze what was left in ice-cube trays so I can keep them already divided in the perfect amounts in the freezer. I went ahead and lined the tray with plastic wrap and put one chipotle pepper with some sauce in each slot. It perfectly filled six slots. That’s 6 chili recipes worth! I have no idea if it will work out once it is frozen or if I will even be able to get them out. We will see tonight and I will show you the pictures.

That’s all for now. I feel better now that I confessed my deviance from my diet and feel more motivated to get back on track. Until next time…

Dropping 10

OK, I am finally putting it out there that I am trying to lose 10 pounds. I am little embarrassed by it but if I don’t tell someone then I will not have the will power to really push myself to lose the weight. I’m not worried about the “ell bees” (lbs., I’m just trying to sound cool) per se, but I have been steadily growing out of my clothes for the past two years. I am getting close to 30 and would like to blame my age for why I am gaining weight but there has to be another way. My biggest struggle is that I have done low-carb diets in the past and I just cannot do all that meat, eggs, and dairy. Sure, I will lose probably 5 pounds a week but I will be a grumpy, uptight person while I’m doing it, not to mention that I just can’t stomach all those animal products. I eat a primarily vegan/vegetarian diet so “carbs” are definitely going to be a regular part of my diet. 

I’m not sure that my diet is that much of a problem, though. I have heard, “weight loss is 90 percent diet and 10 percent sweating it out in workouts.” I may be in denial, but I think my diet is pretty good. I eat lots of organic veggies and fruits, whole grains, and I drink a ton of water -no soda and little bit of alcohol on occasion. So if weight loss is 90% diet, then what’s my deal? I figured I don’t exercise enough. If I am being completely honest, I do not work out as much as I used to. Lately, I’ve been running 1-2 times a week and yoga maybe once a month. I used to run 5 days a week up to 7 miles at a time, and did weekly yoga. So did I shock my metabolism when I stopped all that?

I could use a bunch of excuses like, “I’m so tired at the end of the day,” “I can’t wake up in the mornings,” “I’ll start next week,” I have too much homework” … the list could go on forever. I do work full-time in a pretty stressful job working with mentally ill adults then have homework and/or class in the evening. My day is pretty full, but, still, there has to be a way. I don’t want to feel like this any more and I don’t want to buy any more clothes in a bigger size. Enough is enough!

I am not going to start next week. I am going to start THIS week, today, right now. I am putting it out there for anyone to see that I have admitted that I have let myself get way out of shape and I want to change it.  I am a planner so I have come up with a short term plan. First, I am going to log what I eat on myfitnesspal.com. I have used the site before for a school project and it opened my eyes to my addiction to sweets. Second, the only “carb” I am going to cut way back on is sugar. I love my sweets! It is going to be hard with all the Halloween candy lying around but I have to do it – no excuses! I am going to switch to unsweetened almond or coconuts milks, leave out the sweetener in my oatmeal, and save my sweets for one day a week treat (I am excited to try Vegetarian Ventures Pumpkin Cocoa Brownies in a week). Third, I am going to do at least 30 minutes of cadiovascular exercise in the mornings before work, either running or a work-out video (my Jilian Michaels, 6 wk abs DVD is exactly 30 minutes), 3 days a week and yoga one day a week. I am going to do this routine for a month and see how I do. Fourth and final step in my short term plan is to share with you what I am doing, because even if no one is paying attention, I will still feel like I am being monitored on my progress. The whole purpose of this goal is to be a better me. I’m happy with my looks but I do feel self conscious sometimes. I just know my body could be better, more physically fit. Even more than that, I want to be a good example to my kids that exercise is important and we show ourselves love by taking care of this body we were given.

That’s enough for now. I have already created a menu for myself for the entire day tomorrow but I will share that with you in the morning – after I work out!