Transparency

Before I can post anything else, I feel the need to be completely transparent with myself and whoever might be reading this. I have made no progress in trying to get back in shape. I have gone running once in the past month. My weight continues to fluctuate and I continue to hate shopping for clothes because I am so frustrated with how my body looks now. I have only myself to blame to because I just simply have not put in the effort and I have no excuse. I am such a planner and have great plans but my problem is following through. All I can do is take it one day at a time and blah blah blah…. doesn’t mean anything if I’m not doing a thing about it!

OK. That’s enough ranting. I continue to love my food and drink and that is just a fact of my life. I am on the journey to find a balance because soon I will be starting grad school classes again and I really have to have my routine down by then. Thanks for reading. I feel better already.

The following is my post that never got posted to due technical difficulties on Tuesday:

Oh blog.. I have missed you and am so sorry I have neglected you for this long. Blog friends, I have missed you, too!

First things first, I have to provide an update on the weight-loss thing. I succeeded in losing two pounds last week and noticed a visible difference in my abdomen area looking flatter. Then…. Friday happened. Friday, our team at work had a team lunch and we ordered in pizza. It would have been OK if I just stuck to one slice of cheese pizza but I had two… and a garlic knot…and a small cup of Pepsi… and a sugar cookie. Ugh! I was keeping track of what I ate on my calorie counter website and realized that if I was going to eat anything for dinner, I would have to go for a run right after work.

So that is precisely what I did. As soon as I got home, I changed my clothes and laced up my sneakers and went out for a nice run for about 30 minutes. When I came back, my boyfriend and I decided to go out for some appetizers and drinks. I thought that was perfect because with appetizers I could really control my portions. Well, my boyfriend decided to completly wine and dine me! Like the title of my blog indicates, one of the ways I receive love from others is through food and so he was showing me some major love! We had oysters, salads, entrees, drinks, bread, and ended the meal with Bailey’s. It was sooooo good! While I made good choices as far as what I ate such as spinach salad and grilled trout for the entree, when I tallied up the calories… welp, let’s just say I was 800 over my goal for the day and that is including the calories I burned from running.Yikes!

I ended gaining 4 pounds from that meal. (Sad face) I spent the whole rest of the weekend and up to today trying to lose that wieght again. I feel like I have made no progress at all and quite frankly this has been the cycle every week for months! The madness has got to stop! I have to have a plan for the weekend ready to go. Not sure what the exact plan is going to be at this point but I am working on it. Maybe having friends for drinks and a low cal vegan meal? Do some pumpkin carving and have some healthy snacks?

Going on a run tonight and hoping to blast mucho calories. Wish me luck!

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